Saturday, September 15, 2012

Where I say every synonym for "delicious" at least once, and also ramble a lot.

I'm baaack! I know it's been quite a while, but I've been busy and couldn't think if any topics that'd be interesting enough for y'all to read: but I finally did!

Those of you who know me know that I'm a Weight Watchers leader. Those of you who don't know me: I'm a Weight Watchers leader. There, now we're all caught up. Oh, you want more information than that? FIIIIINE. Here you go.

 I joined WW in July of 2009, upon returning from an exchange year to Germany with more than the requisite "Freshman Fifteen"--mine was the "Beer and Chocolate Thirty."

That Diet Mt Dew didn't really counteract the damage.
My second day back stateside, my mom (who is a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers, meaning that she achieved her weight loss goal and then went through a six-week maintenance period) dragged me, KICKING AND SCREAMING, to a WW meeting. It was a necessary evil: at the time, I was about to start Air Force ROTC on a full-ride scholarship, for which being in good shape was a major requirement. Over the next eight months, I lost about fifteen pounds for my initial goal, then started working as a receptionist immediately after achieving Lifetime status. From March 2010 to April 2011, I gradually lost another fifteen pounds for a total weight loss of 30 pounds. In December 2011, I went to Leader Training in Chicago, making me a Weight Watchers Leader!

Confession: I've never been very good at tracking. Portion control and paying attention to hunger cues (or lack thereof!) were what helped me lose my first fifteen to twenty pounds or so (that, coupled with my freshman year "Hangover Diet"--Step 1: get drunk. Step 2: REALLY drunk. Step 3: go to bed. Step 4: be hungover all day and not want to eat anything. Step 5: Repeat. This works great, since with nothing in your stomach after being hungover all day, the process is expedited exponentially each consecutive day!*), but tracking has gradually become something that I realize HAS to be done in order to get the results I want.

*Disclaimer: Results not typical. Possible side effects include headaches, nausea, dizziness, exhaustion, dehydration, bitchiness, poor decisions, walks of shame, memory loss, and skipping classes. Serious side effects may include nasty rumors, bad grades, and a lowered GPA. Talk to your of-age booze supplier for more information and to find out whether the Hangover Diet is right for you.**

**Double disclaimer: I am not encouraging underage drinking or suggesting that it is by any means glamorous and/or cool. I'm just saying that if you can get married and/or join the military to die for your country, you should damn well be able to have a glass of beer if you want one. Also, drinking makes you popular and people will like you more if you drink. As long as you don't drink light beer.

With all of this in mind, here are my newest favorite foods and meals, all of which are PointsPlus value-bargains!

1) Unsweetened almond milk
Okay, I never in a million years thought that I'd like almond milk. That's something that hippies drink. What's wrong with good ol' American cows? Besides, almonds don't HAVE milk. That's like the banana juice that Germans drink: Bananas are not juicy. Where the heck is this "juice" coming from--what IS it? (Answer: Soylent banana juice is people.) HANYWAY. I finally tried almond milk after finding out that a cup of unsweetened almond milk has half the PointsPlus values of regular skim cow-juice (1 PPV/cup, as opposed to 2/cup--but make sure it's UNSWEETENED almond milk), and 50% more calcium.

My brand of choice, although I've found that Hy-Vee's
generic brand (if you live in the Midwest) is just as good.

The main difference I've noticed between skim and almond milk is that almond milk is thicker. I'm wayyyyy used to the watery consistency of skim (been drinkin' it since birth, practically), so drinking a liquid that actively clings to the glass--nevermind how lightly--still weirds me out a little bit. However, I still have yet to drink a glass of it straight: I've just been using it in my cereal, smoothies, and baking.

If you're still feeling trepidatious (HA! I got a red squiggle under that word, and KNEW it was spelt correctly--turns out Google spellcheck doesn't realize it's a word. BOOM for being eruditer than Google), I'd suggest trying the vanilla flavored kind first. It's a good way to ease into a new, scary form of juice-that-comes-from-things-that-aren't-juicy.

2) Kellogg's Crunchy Nut Caramel Nut cereal
Maybe more than one word, in retrospect.

Plus, the box is hilarious. Read the back of it
the next time you're at the store.
Okay, like I was saying, zomfg roflmao wtf. Further Internet acronyms. (Side note: the word "Internet" is still classified as a PROPER NOUN. Please alert the web's grammar police, because everyone seems to be forgetting that rule. According to Wikipedia, most of the people who have stopped writing it as such are people outside of North America--Brits and Ozzies and the like. Yet another reason why we're better than everyone else. USA! USA! USA!)

This cereal is truly wow-worthy. It tastes exactly like its name would suggest: like caramel, and nuts. So much delicious. For a serving size of 3/4 cup (31g), it's only 3 PPV. Not bad, for how flavorful it is!

1) + 2) =
3) Tory's Fruit 'n' Cereal Bowl
Can I say "nom" again, or am I wearing it out? Whatever the state of noms, this breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack is delish. I simply cut up a banana (or two) and a peach (or nectarine--whatever I have on hand) into a cereal bowl, then add my serving of Crunchy Caramel Nut (31g of flakes goes a LONG way) and a cup of unsweetened almond milk. Voila! Ginormous bowl of yumtastic-ness for only 4 PPV.

(I would put a picture right here, but I usually snarf too fast to take a picture of this treat. Maybe I'll remember tomorrow.)

Yay! Finally remembered. Here's the famed
Fruit 'n' Cereal Bowl.

Th-th-th-that's all, folks! Tune in next time to read all about my obsession with peanut butter, interspersed with probably some ranting about the state of food allergies these days. See you then!


  1. Tory, I can't wait for the "peanut butter" edition. I also have an obsession with PB. My jar is at the highest point in my cupboard.

    Grammy: Hang in there! It's in progress as we speak.

  3. Hysterical. Great tips, but I especially liked the hangover diet's disclaimer. And that part about alcohol making you more popular? Totally true. :)