Belated Friday Fess-Up

Howdy, y'all! The Friday Fess-Up from last week was delayed due to sickness and a vacation, so here 'tis.

Highs: Welllll...there weren't a whole lot, to be honest. After my successful resisting of that-time-of-the-month gorging, I kinda caved after weighing in last Friday and ate a buncha crap all weekend long. It didn't help that Spencer was out of town, so I had the house to myself and no one watching whether or not I was eating healthily or drinking mimosas all day (no to the first, yes to the second). I spent a lot of time with girlfriends, so drinking and snacking were involved there as well, but we had fun, so that was okay. One high: on Saturday night, Abby (of The Grateful Project) came over to watch chick flicks -- Spencer and her fiance Mike were in Vegas together for Mike's bachelor party, so we figured we needed to get some girl time in while they were gone -- and instead of ordering pizza, we had sandwiches. It's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless! (I also was sick on Thursday and Friday, so I didn't eat very much at all those days. Silver lining of any illness!)

Lows: Ugh. See above. A lot of unnecessary mindless eating. The problem was, even after Spencer was back in town and we got back into a routine, I knew that we were going to be eating out for his birthday, so I didn't want to try too hard until after that, and I knew that we were going to be gone camping this past weekend, so I'd be able to get on track after all of that. BAD TORY! Here is where you do as I SAY and not as I DO. It's never too late to make a good decision, and every good decision will add up. I shoulda just tried harder, but that's in the past and I'm moving on.

Activity PPVs; I only earned 26 APPV this week, but like I said, I was sick on Thursday (spent the whole day in bed, really), and I forgot to put my ActiveLink on until later on Friday morning. Ah well. This week will be better.

Mileage: Ran 6.15 miles; walked 7.61 for a total of 13.76 miles. Weaksauce, yes.

Weigh-in: I didn't weigh in because we left town early on Friday morning for a camping weekend, but it wouldn't have been great.

In summary, last week sucked, but I'm back on the wagon and feeling great!

The Solution to Gross Tan Lines: or, Why Tory Looks Like a Ho When She Runs

Okay, yeah, I'm basically a vampire. (But the cool-scary 'Salem's Lot kind, not the fruit-tastic Twilight kind.) My mom started me using a moisturizer with SPF when I was 13 (just as she was starting to get wrinkles), crying out, "You will THANK ME for this when you're MY age" [dashes to mirror; pulls frantically at face]. Since that started me off on the right (pale) foot, I've worked pretty hard over the years at maintaining my translucence. After all, if I've been using sunscreen every day for the last 10 years, why try to get tan, ever?

The problem becomes, of course, that if I get even the vaguest smattering of rays, I instantly burn/tan. Usually I avoid this by staying inside, but since I started running, that became kinda tricky, and I doubt the residents of our apartment complex would appreciate me running the halls at 6 a.m. Or at all.

Now, I'm not opposed to getting a little bit of color (because honestly, you can see all my dang veins and it's actually pretty gross), but running does not afford the best tan lines. Have you noticed what most people wear on their legs while running in the summer? Shorts. And have you noticed where most shorts (at least on girls) end? Mid-thigh, which is just about the widest part of the leg.

Hello, yes, these are definitely my legs.

Now add the slightest tidbit of UV rays, and what do you get? Let's just say, this is an artist's representation (term "artist" used loosely) of what I look like in a swimsuit in the summer:

Except my inner thighs are snuggle buddies.

Do you hear that? That's the sound of my thighs screaming at you "WE ARE RIGHT HERE, THIS IS WHERE WE ARE, LOOK RIGHT HERE DAMNIT BECAUSE ALL YOU CAN SEE IS THIS CRAZYBAD TAN LINE INSTEAD OF TORY'S SMOKIN' HOT BOD ELSEWHERE AND THAT IS TOTALLY THE TRUTH (ESPECIALLY THE HOT BOD PART)."

BLARGHITTY and HARRUMPH.

Which leads me to my confession: I mayyyyy have been showing some butt cheekage on my run home from work tonight, but it's only because I had my shorts rolled up to *HERE* in order to avoid that stupid thigh tan line. Which is a perfectly legitimate reason to dress like a ho, a'ight? A'ight.

Inaugural Friday Fess-Up!

I had a brainflash last night! (Oh yeah, it was thrilling. You know, in the "I'm lying in bed trying to go to sleep, so why won't you please shut up, brain"-kinda way.) Basically what it comes down to is, even though I'm a Weight Watchers leader, I'm utterly still human. I still make mistakes, I still struggle with making the right choice, and I still can be a lazy slug sometimes. I want to share those mistakes with you in the hope that 1) I'll do right by you throughout the week and 2) you'll draw some inspiration in the knowing that you're not alone-slash-you'll be able to look at my slip-ups and think "pfft, even *I* can do better than that!"

I've been trying to find something that would motivate me to post more regularly, and I think this is going to be fun, redeeming, and cathartic. And maybe hold me somewhat accountable? After all, if I'm sharing my lows with the Internet-connected world, perhaps I'll do better at avoiding some of them in the first place!

Basically, "if hunger is not the problem, food is not the solution."

I weigh in every Friday morning, so Fridays are going to be my recap of the previous week. I'll share any particular highs and any particular lows; how my weigh-in went; how many Activity PointsPlus Values I earned over the week; and my mileage for the week.

Anyway, without further ado, here is your first "Friday Fess-Up," where I confess to the sins and ...not-sins (? obviously I am not well-versed in the correct terminology for being a GOOD person for once. Virtues?) of the previous week.

I'm gonna be completely honest: this last week was really tough for me. I was at my parents' house in Oklahoma all weekend, and there are always all kinds of temptations there. I'm not criticizing you, Mom! I'm just saying that when there's chocolate and Oreos and Goldfish in the cupboard, I will probably end up eating all of the above, plus any salted nuts I can find (and lots of beer). We also belatedly celebrated my birthday. Then as soon as I got back to Lincoln and my normal routine, a certain terrible week (let's just call it "ladytimes") commenced.

I was home for a girlfriend's wedding.
Congratulations, Sarah & Kyle!

Proudest moment: not giving in to absurdly strong cravings for chips/cookies/pizza/ice cream/anything and everything else on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. Instead I had some WW Cheddar Twists, bananas dipped in PB2 (powdered peanut butter), nectarines, WW ice cream cones (2 PPV!), sugar-free canned mandarin oranges, and some Life cereal.

I couldn't wait to eat my nectarines -- first of the season! --
so I nommed down while still in the Walmart parking lot.

Activity PPVs: 31. That's fewer than the last couple weeks, but still puts me at 113% of my weekly goal. I didn't run at all when I was home over the weekend (bad Tory!) but I was pretty good once we got back to Lincoln.

Mileage: 10.42 miles run so far this week. Technically, my running weeks go from Sunday through Saturday, so if I do anything today or tomorrow, that'll get added in.

Weigh-in: Despite being home over the weekend and then dealing with that time (sidenote: did you know that in Germany, they call it "Erdbeerwoche"? This translates to "Strawberry Week." I think this is really cute yet totally disgusting)...I only gained 0.6 pounds!

All in all, this week could have been a lot worse, and HAS been a lot worse in the past! I'm pretty pleased with myself.

If you want to try your hand at a Friday Fess-Up, then link me up, dude and/or lady!

Morning rant!

Pop quiz! When do you hate people the most?
A) First thing in the morning
B) At the end of the day
C) All the damn time

If you answered any of the above, then I'm pleased, because I'm obviously reaching my target audience. Greetings, fellow misanthropes! If you answered B in particular, you're still welcome here, but this post won't really pertain as much to you, because it's about the dreaded....MORNING RADIO SHOWS! :dun dun dunnnnn:

Okay but really. First thing in the morning, I'm already pissed at the world for EXISTING, let alone for anything more specific than "ugh world ugh." I've managed to drag myself out of bed, mayyyybe get some coffee in me (if it's a good day), get dressed, and get out the door with a banana or string cheese in tow. For clarification's sake, this is usually as I'm on my way to the gym or to meet up for a run, not necessarily as I'm heading off to work. If I'm going to work, I definitely have a real breakfast in me.

So I drag myself to the car in the pre-dawn pitch, probably running late already, and it's usually cold, and there's usually dew on the grass so my sneakers get wet, and I get in the cold car, and I turn on the radio, and...."BLAHDITTY BLAH BLAH! STUPID CRAP! HAHAHAHA! RIDICULOUS SOUND EFFECTS! CELEBRITY DRIVEL! NO MUSIC WHATSOEVER FOR THE NEXT FOUR HOURS!"

WHY?!

All I want is something with a nice beat to wake me up: some trashy Ke$ha or Nicki Minaj that I can "rap" along with (I put "rap" in quotation marks because yes, I am a white girl, I know my limits) to get me pumped  up for my workout. I do NOT want people talking, because I can hardly stand commercials at this hour (no, I don't care about getting my drains cleaned! I really don't! And if you're the goddamned Geico Gecko or Pig or whatever ludicrous mascot they have now, then the chances are good that, were I ever to meet you in person, I would STRANGLE YOU), let alone hours and hours of "ZOMG DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED ON SURVIVOR LAST NIGHT LOLZ?!" The tripe I heard this morning before changing the station? Apparently someone in Barbara Walters' family got a DUI. Not Barbara Walters herself, although even HER relevance these days is questionable. Just someone in her family. And I refuse to Google it, because that would give web traffic to Perez Hilton or TMZ or whoever and I have STANDARDS, dammit.

In conclusion: Radio stations,

A very simple tutorial for: Inscribing Titles onto Books/etc

I return from (another) long hiatus to show you how to personalize...things! Photo albums, etc. I saw this idea on Pinterest quite a while ago, used to personalize a stool, and figured I could use it to jazz up a photo album I'd put together of a trip Spencer and I had taken to Germany.

Basically, you type up your desired text, print it, and tape it to your surface:

Then trace around each letter, pressing down firmly:

Peel your template off, and fill in the letters!

Et voila! (Or "wa-lah," if you're a flaming moron.)

Tips: first off, obviously choose a simple font, and make it BIG. This was a bit hard for me to outline and to fill in accurately. Secondly, PRESS HARD when outlining. Mine's obviously not perfect, and part of that is because I didn't have clear enough indentations on the book cover. Beyond that, it was the work of minutes! Good luck!

All that glitters is not gold: sometimes it's a wreath.

At a post-Valentine's Day sale at Jo-Ann Fabrics, I picked up a shiny, pink, heart-shaped, heart-tinsel-laden wreath for something like $4. Now, some people might think that those are already enough adjectives for any wreath, but I've been following the Aunt Peaches school of design: ALWAIZ MOAR GLITTER.

So, with a free afternoon this last weekend, I dug through my craft supplies and jazzed that wreath up another notch. BAM! (Don't get that reference? Here ya go.)

First up: bows. Bows are always good. I made a bow from some ribbon I had laying around and then tied it to the wreath with a piece of heart-printed ribbon. (Sidebar: does anyone have any ideas for how to use thin printed ribbons? I LOVE those ribbons, but I never really have any uses for them. Help me out here. Ribbon ribbon ribbon. Now it looks like it's spelled wrong, doesn't it? Ribbon.)

I had a pack of felt hearts, left over from an attempted Valentine's tree a few years ago ("attempted" meaning that I meant to decorate my little Christmas tree with Valentine's stuff, but then all the pre-strung lights on the tree died and I didn't want it anymore), and a roll of sparkly red and white heart tinsel, plus some ribbons and a heart charm from an old necklace. I trimmed a few of the hearts off the tinsel and with and some Krazy Glue, I made an ultra-Valentine's-y dealie to hang in the center of the wreath.

And here's the finished product. Et voila! Enough hearts for you?

It's now proudly hanging on our living room wall, despite the season, simply because I don't have a box big enough in which to store it. And you know, I'm not sure that huge pink sparkly heart-shaped wreaths AREN'T all-seasons appropriate!

Something about holidays because I'm jealous of the kids upstairs who are obviously having a great Easter and I'm sitting here with a hangover

As my title says, there are kids upstairs out on their balcony and I'm super envious of their fun-having, especially since I didn't even buy any Easter candy and I'm hungover and really don't want to put on pants (and sunglasses, can't forget sunglasses) and go to Walgreens to remedy the Easter candy situation. I guess I could probably resolve the hangover situation while I'm there as well, but UGHHHHH that would require FORESIGHT and I can't say as though that's one of my strong suits. Oh, and also, it's Easter's fault that I'm hungover in the first place, since usually I have to work on Sundays but we happen to be closed for the holiday, so to celebrate, I went out with a bunch of friends last night for pizza and drinks and drinks and drinks and ended the night with an OATMEAL COOKIE MARTINI. Omg seriously wtf bbq, but it was really dang good.

And raisins for a garnish. Totes 'dorbz.

So, let me talk to you about holidays. Basically, I'm a stickler for tradition. I don't know how that started, but if something's been a certain way for one major event (say, a holiday), I insist it stay the same in all subsequent happenings. My mom says that it started with Christmas on the first year that I had developed a memory that would last for longer than 10 seconds, not unlike a goldfish. For whatever reason, that first Christmas I could remember, we had eaten shrimp cocktail for an appetizer and then spaghetti for our main course on Christmas Eve. My mom claims it was a fluke: we just happened to have that stuff around and we just happened to eat it for dinner on Christmas Eve. 

The next year rolls around, and Mom asks me what we should do for dinner. "MOM. We ALWAYS have shrimp cocktail and spaghetti on Christmas Eve."

"That was actually just last year, honey."
"NO, Mother. I REMEMBER. We ALWAYS have shrimp cocktail and spaghetti on Christmas Eve."

(I'm also very stubborn.)

Well, whatever the tradition (or lack thereof) previously had been, it was replaced. Every Christmas Eve since then, we've had shrimp cocktail and spaghetti on Christmas Eve. Tory wins again!